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hard to - amillz lyrics

the mirror does more damage then anyone’s words
emotions inconsistent so ill cut em into thirds
y’all want me to get high and mask the pain with the herbs
but i’d rather make a few more sad records
lookin in the mirror wanted to punch what you saw
image is getting clearer you wanna punch me in the jaw
i look in the mirror and i’ll tell you what i see
don’t think i’ve changed because i still see me
the only person changing is the one behind the sentence
this track ain’t a diss to you i won’t try to bend it
but i’m not sorry for enemies i meant every sentence
don’t put words in my mouth or ill have to call the dentist
the hardest part about all this was my acceptance
my acceptance, to no dependence, on all your attendance
honestly i love you and that will be so endless
even if you rip me outta your life like an appendix
i always wondered how long that you would stay faithful
but i won’t twist it around and start sound ungrateful
held me down for that year you was keepin me so stable
now i wish i could jolt us back like some jumper cables
if im bein honest we all locked up in our minds
just need motivation to get us on this grind
knocked off this ladder everytime we start to climb
if you not about it, please dont waste my time
i always call myself an angel but ive just fallen
gambled on the love now im goin all in
it’s valentines day, only one id consider callin
hit me with an ad block why you start installin

hard to always hide my pain (this pain)
hard to not go insane (insane)
hard to not lose myself (myself)
when i cannot control my brain (control my brain)

hard to not feel the blame (the blame)
hard to not mask the shame (that shame)
hard to finally love myself (myself)
when all i see is the rain

your heart and your hair now they look the same
if i would died the that night would you have came
you had no idea that my car slid off the road
the night you f-cking blocked me and your name wouldn’t load
the darkness of the day k!lls the light of night
i could be happy then a moment later not feelin right
you’re heart is so cold that its giving me frostbite
we always playin games like some fortnite
you finally left, and circle gettin smaller
feeling kinda free kinda gettin out this collar
i’d be lying if i didn’t really wanna call her
only calls i want now are the ones talking dollars
its really hard to try and mask all this pain
you were my world, it’s just heart rearranged
if im bein honest i think im goin insane
its gettin really hard to always use my brain
please don’t think that the money is a p-ssion
the music is my p-ssion that puts the words into action
every sentence i speak, im speakin through a caption
now we all divided and im feelin like a fraction
this track was so hard, hard to understand
and honestly i think that is what i planned
it’s goin back and forth like a rubber band
i still got that thing that im tryna put on your hand
read all these lyrics understand what im saying
im speaking to everyone in different ways of portraying
my prices gettin higher im the only one paying
im dying alive walking dead and im decaying

- amillz lyrics

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