the illusion of choice i: genesis - alustrium lyrics
encased in darkness all alone, drowned a sea of my plight
being pulled farther down
voices, muffled, far away, shrieks of pain and terror
being forced out of my world
there is light
crying for mercy
there is blood
hoping for sympathy
filthy and naked i’m pulled from the womb
i scream and am blinded by fear
this is our son and he will be great and he will make us proud
there is light
crying for mercy
there is blood
hoping for sympathy
everyones smiling, amused by my pain
this world is a cold heartless place
he is so healthy and he looks so strong and he’s excited to live
this is what we’ve worked for
the miracle of life
he will grow and he will love us
why does he seem terrified?
our lives are changed now for good
it feels as good as they’ve said
such a shame this newborn babe will inevitably end up dead
i want to go back, but what is this?
i am so ravenous
insatiable thirst for mothers milk
so cold, helpless, cannot fight
arms of the giants embrace
squeezing me tightly and whispering evil
what shall we call this child?
who shall we force him to be?
p-ss the child
clean the child
feed the child
love the child
who are these monsters round me?
what is this body i’m in?
who is this person i am expected to become?
birthed into the physical
its laws are beyond me
my scope of reference pales
limitless possibilities
who defines the formula?
who -ssigns the punishments?
who designed the cage i’m in?
what have i done?
who consigned and left me here?
who decides who is to blame?
who decides that i am wrong?
who is in control?
force fed whats right
will does not apply
made to quiet down
will does not apply
will does not apply
you cannot define
will does not apply
you cannot survive
doomed to work with whats been given to me
can not ascend from what i am
must work to survive
ask not why i’ve come to wreck your life
the blame lies
with you, i had no choice
and i know that its a shame
we never get to choose where we start
but we get a say in what we do and how it will come apart
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