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gangester - altido martins lyrics

(verse 1)
i am an awful person. a monster
but actually i was not a monster from the beginning. just a 19*year*old who didn’t know what to do, that’s why he joined a group that took everything from him
life made me feel no more
no happiness, no sadness, no fear, and nothing else
of course, i was like that from the beginning
a lone gangster, but with 100 friends
i thanked god every day, tonight is over, i am still alive
but i have to think about whether i am alive or dead tomorrow
i don’t think it’s normal for a 23*year*old boy to think that tomorrow he’ll be alive or dеad or assassinated by gutbag
now i am 24 years old, but will i live to 25? and this is what i ask mysеlf every birthday
[chorus]
this was not what i wanted
this was not the life i wanted
why why why
why did it happen?
why why why
why did it happen?
(verse 2)
my teammates always told me that i was a coward, but i said that because they had nothing to lose. they didn’t care if they were alive or dead tomorrow
but i just wanted a normal family
a family whose father is not a famous big gangster who can be k!lled or assassinated at any moment, nor is his brother a murderer
just when i thought it couldn’t get any worse, it happened
my mother left me at the age of 14 and slept with someone she met at the western club and had a baby
but it was not my fault
since i was a child, i didn’t know if i would live tomorrow or not because of my brother
i was sad, the only thing i wanted was to die or to end this nightmare as soon as possible
but my dad always told me that in order to win, you have to hide your sadness so that no one will understand
but this made me become a monster
sorry then
[chorus]
this was not what i wanted
this was not the life i wanted
why why why
why did it happen?
why why why
why did it happen?
tell me, why are the two of us the ones who don’t see, the only ones who are hurting or hurting are the two of us?
tell me why should there be gangsters? my life was on fire, but i still don’t know

- altido martins lyrics

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