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shticks and stones - allan sherman lyrics

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[parody of “blue tail fly”]
oh salesmen come and salesmen go
and my best one is gone i know
and if he don’t come back to me
i’ll have to close the factory

gimme jack cohen and i don’t care
gimme jack cohen and i don’t care
gimme jack cohen and i don’t care
but the b-st-rd’s gone away

[parody of “jamaica farewell” by harry belafonte]
i’m upside down, my head is turning around

because i gotta sell the house in levittown

[parody of “little david, play on your harp”]
little david susskind-
shut up
please don’t talk; please don’t talk
little david susskind-
me first
then you’ll talk

[parody of “st. james’ infirmary”]

i went down to mt. sinai – hospital
to see my old zayde there
and i said, thanks god
for the blue cross
and i wish we had the medicare

[parody of “god rest ye merry, gentlemen”]
god bless you, jerry mendelbaum
let nothing you dismay
this may you had a rotten month
so what is there to say
let’s hope next may is better
and good things will come your way
and you won’t have a feeling of dismay
next may

[parody of “when the saints go marching in”]
oh when the paint’ners
go marching in
oh when the paint’ners
go marching in
just make sure they put a dropcloth
when the paint’ners go marching in

[parody of “joshua fit the battle of jericho”]
yasha got a bottle of geritol
geritol, geritol
yasha got a bottle of geritol
and he knocked a whole in the wall
that’s all
no wall

[parody of “i will give my love an apple”]
i gave my love a chicken
it had no bone
i gave my love a cherry
it had no stone
i gave my love a baby
and then, you see
my love got very angry and she said to me

i didn’t mind the chicken
without the bone
i didn’t mind the cherry
without the stone
but when you give a baby
it’s just one thing
you oughta give at least
an engagement ring

[parody of stephen foster’s “the camptown races (gwine to run all night)”]
the catsk!ll ladies sing this song
hoo-hah, hoo-hah
sitting on the front porch playing mah-jongg
all hoo-hah day

[parody of “the yellow rose of texas”]
oh i’m melvin rose of texas
and my friends all call me tex
when i lived in old new mexico
they used to call me mex

when i lived in old kentucky
they called me old kentuck
i was born in old shamokin
which is why they call me melvin rose

[parody of “shortenin’ bread”]
mammy’s little baby loves matzoh, matzoh
mammy’s little baby loves matzoh b-lls
mammy’s little baby wants pots and pots of
lots and lots of matzoh b-lls

stole the sk!llet
stole the lead
stole a lotta b-lls
made of pesach bread
stole the chicken
out of the soup
stole the pot
and made a lot of chicken soup

mammy’s little baby loves matzoh, matzoh
mammy’s little baby loves matzoh b-lls
mammy’s little baby wants pots and pots of
lots and lots of mat-zoh – oh! – b-lls

- allan sherman lyrics

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