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one hippopotami - live version - allan sherman lyrics

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one hippopotami cannot get on a bus,
because one hippopotami is two hippopotamus.
and if you have two goose, that makes one geese.
a pair of mouse is mice. a pair of moose is meese.

a paranoia is a bunch of mental blocks.
and when ben casey meets kildaire, that’s called a paradox.
when two minks fall in love, with all their heart and soul,
you’ll find the plural of two minks is one mink stole.

singulars and plurals are so different, bless my soul.
has it ever occurred to you that the plural of “half” is “whole”?

a bunch of tooth is teeth. a group of foot is feet.
and two canaries make a pair–they call it a parakeet.
a paramecium is not a pair.
a parallelogram is just a crazy square.

n-body knows just what a paraphernalia is.
and what is half a pair of scissors, but a single sciz?
with someone you adore, if you should find romance,
you’ll pant, and pant once more, and that’s a pair of pants!

- allan sherman lyrics

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