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calculatus eliminatus - allan sherman lyrics

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the fish: very well then, dr. calculatus, find it and eliminatus yourself

the cat in the hat: i shall indeed

the cat in the hat: when you’ve mislaid a certain something, keep your cool and don’t get hot. calculatus eliminatus is the best friend that you’ve got

calculatus eliminatus always helps an awful lot

the way to find a missing something is to find out where it’s not

it isn’t here. i’ll mark this “x.” it isn’t there. i’ll mark that “y.” it isn’t underneath the apple. mark the apple “hki.”

conrad: it isn’t in this keyhole

sally: it isn’t on my knee

the cat in the hat: mark the keyhole “k*300.” mark the knee “5*7*b.”

we just jot down all the places where it isn’t and gee whiz**very shortly we will locate where the missing object is

conrad: (spoken) it isn’t here

the cat in the hat: 842*j

sally: it isn’t there

the cat in the hat: f*607**you can mark the piano “22,000*decimal point*11.”

sally: it isn’t in the icebox

conrad: it’s not on this tv

the cat in the hat: that’s strange

the cat in the hat: icebox: 0*2*4 1/2. tv: 1,000,003

when you mislaid a certain something, keep your cool, don’t go to pot

the cat in the hat and kids: calculatus eliminatus is the best friend that you’ve got

kids: calculatus eliminatus always helps an awful lot

the cat in the hat: the way to find a missing something

the cat in the hat and kids: is to find out where it’s not

the fish: look at this house!

the fish: look at this! look at that! this uncouth, barbaric, pompestuous lout! he should not be here when their mother is out!

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