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lessons from grief - ali imad lyrics

{hook}
journal full of songs for you
long notes to say i long for you
once i tried to draw for you
pen is just a p-wn for you
daily delusion, or destiny?
conviction, confusion
lessons from grief

{verse 1}
at times it feels divinely true
bountiful, powerful
sometimes it feels wrong to do
cowardly, sour too
amidst unsober thunderstorms
i was torn asunder, warned
once it dried no longer high
i watched my delusions die
but one survived, a wild flame
just like la sun, untamed
just like baby in a manger
saw the fire in a stranger
it’s true, i fell for a stranger
i was in love with a stranger
i know like what could be stranger
or what could be? stranger?
day finally came that i never thought would
my fire was tamed my reality shook
i discovered another, the first since you
who could be lover, hmm, ouch
my prayer say light, naysayers were right
god said “not today” i held on at night
‘least now i can say i know you not the one
that pain could not be numbed
so i fought it and won
name is brent, my therapist
pay him like rent to stare at this
the only home i’ve ever known
where dreams of you have only grown (woah)
from delusion to destiny
convicted, confused, you brought me
lessons from grief

{hook}
journal full of songs for you
long notes to say i long for you
once i tried to draw for you
pen is just a p-wn for you

{bridge}
be honest, you think i’m crazy?
it’s okay
‘cuz it’s okay not to be okay
long as i kept trying
found healing in my crying

{hook}
daily delusion, or destiny?
conviction, confusion
lessons from grief

{verse 2}
this was that time when i lost it
baba waits back in the car he’s exhausted
i’m in the stu, recording a song
he cries to allah “tell me where i went wrong”
says: “pop it in”
“no, i won’t play it”
“oh yes you will, i’ll hear what you’re sayin'”
he listens close, tells me it’s weak
i can’t even speak, been makin’ him weep
ironic, tears only make ’em look stronger
“rushing your songs they should all take you longer”
hurt, but shocked that he gave it his ears
acknowledging his and my biggest fear
that my career won’t look like my brother’s
seek validation and mercy from mother
“be happy” she tell me but please in another
form, “mama for this i was born”
baba for this i was born
regret every second made both of you mourn
pray that you live to see that i’m right
for bits i was bitter but never in spite
oh how you’ve grown me, all that you’ve shown me
all just to learn that you don’t really know me
it’s not your fault how can you foresee?
the mediterranean buried in me
oh how i dove in those waters within
bleeding from sin, healing to swim
nearly i drowned, once and again
insurmountable pressure to win
mama i pray these words illuminate it
status quo bowed when your child disobeyed it
i’m allah’s maid so forever i made it
clean lines of mine would make baba elated

{outro}
wrote that before he left
prayer denied i guess
still i cry, still i try
oh god, knows, best

- ali imad lyrics

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