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meanwhile - alexei sayle lyrics

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[verse 1 * spoken]
percy, the hapless fbi agent, disguised as a russian reindeer salesman, slid into the sushi bar in downtown frankfurt and realised with a start that the man with the macaroni on his head was infact his ex*wife rosemary; herself disguised as a peruvian professor of chemistry. the boot was on the other foot however, when he showed her his swiss army pen*knife

[chorus * sung]
meanwhile, in another part of town
just a few miles away
seventeen years ago
later that very same day

[verse 2 * spoken]
the case of the dancing cucumbers, which was later to shock all of portugese high society, started quite innocently one summer evening when the steam yacht “mary whitehouse” was discovered drifting in the middle of the a13 crewed only by a team of white mice who were far too terrified to squeak of their experiences

[chorus * sung]
meanwhile, in another part of town
just a few miles away
seventeen years ago
later that very same day

[verse 3 * spoken]
“you know, sweetheart, our problems don’t amount to a h*ll of beans in this crazy world; not while you’ve got a packet of peas on your head. now, i know you think that if you don’t have a packet of peas on your head you’re going to turn into a spider. but believe me, sweetheart: that’s never happened to a duck before.”

[verse 4 * spoken]
it was just another day for raoul, the tasmanian with the talking trousers, as he put a lizard into each top hat. little did he realise that opportunity would soon come a*knocking in the shape of a giant idaho potato which bore a strange resemblance to the late j. edgar hoover, right down to the striped spatula with the words “hokey cokey” written on it in yellow ink

[chorus * sung]
meanwhile, in another part of town
just a few miles away
seventeen years ago
later that very same day
[chorus * sung]
meanwhile, in another part of town
just a few miles away
seventeen years ago
later that very same day

[verse 5 * spoken]
“ooh la la, ooh la la” chanted the traffic wardens but steve was in no mood for swedish volleyball that day. he swore to himself that if erica came home again dressed like a chicken, he would tell the monopolies commission who had really been putting cream cakes in the lord mayor of london’s underpants. then, the avocado dip would really hit the fan!

“there’s a funny smell in my cab!”

- alexei sayle lyrics

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