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portrait - alexandru săndoiu lyrics

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i’ve always been one to play the fool
to fool the fool who thinks i’m being fooled
but this awkward staging leads nowhere
guess i’d rather throw my f*cks into thin air

never been the one to greet with hostility
but can’t f*ck with kissing the hands which hurt me
i had never given up on battles easily
until i fought battles which were never mine to battle

i’ve always been one to chase dreams
and step over my inhibitions for the better
but i gotta keep myself focused
even if it means to walk alone, and not together

been f*cked over by old lovers
doesn’t mean i should f*ck myself over, too
or let myself get damaged by others
i know d*mn well what i deserve
and no, it’s not someone to help me recover

i put that sh*t to work
i gift all these clowns with a joyful smirk
made my parents proud, or so i hope
but being who i want to be can be a slippery slope

unapologetic and sometimes self*centered
i filled my emptiness with strangers
for a dose of affection, i surrendered
the bed was my confessional, but filled with dangers

i wrote a lot of letters to long*lost friends
who have washed what once was tragic
but i always found myself to be the one who mends
the broken hearts which lacked magic
and i’m alone once again, i’m alone again once it all ends

i never needed saving
and i closed so many doors
so that i can preserve my good deeds
and let myself heal from past bleeds

i won’t let myself be defined by misdemeanors
or be judged by the eyes of those who don’t know what i carry
i can’t get back the f*cks that i gave, there’s no room for strife
there’s only color in the portrait of my life

- alexandru sandoiu lyrics

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