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the fear that was real then is real now - alexandra valentine lyrics

well what do i say and what do i think
cause i have found that there are new lows for my self*esteem to sink
an entire new world that i have opened my eyes to
an entire new reality that i’m living my life through

a thousand staring eyes that are fixated on my face
if i could vanish now then i would go without a trace
and god can you will it so they can see right through me
or to go back to before i made this decision to be

the target of the stares and the scorn
i’m sorry i’m not perfect it’s just how i was born
it’s not a decision i made consciously
i didn’t trade realness for humanity

a worry that i’ve never known
what if someone follows me home

well what do i do when i need to find
a new strength, a new voice, a new peace of mind
i need a new confidence i need a new defense
a defense i haven’t needed since i jumped the high*school fence

and when i feel the fear, i see that kid
who was beat up and ridiculed who just ran away and hid
but i will not be wronged by the same hands twice
i won’t be scared to silence i will stand up and fight
with every ounce of strength that resides in my bones
until i’m battered and bruised and there are tears in my clothes
fight for what i believe in i won’t be made to hide
fight for what i am made of, i have to try

something that i’ve always known
i hate to say i told you so

- alexandra valentine lyrics

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