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ten thousand friends for my best song - alex walton lyrics

i’m missing out
on every party this month
i’m working on the weekends
until i die

there’s no reason for me to
still be feeling this way
because i’m doing everything right
i’m doing everything right

i wonder how much comes off as
coping and seething
and how much is actually
coping and seething

the cars are moving oddly slowly tonight
as if i wouldn’t be k!lled
if i stepped out in front of them
but i ain’t got a suicidal bone in my body no more (no more)

since i stopped listening to
icons, abstract thee
i ain’t got suicidal ideation
no more

a friend of mine once said
isn’t this the joyful kind music
and i almost always agree with her
but i couldn’t disagree more
oh, friend said
this is the joyful kind of music
but
i couldn’t disagree more

songs about rеal life only suck the life out of you
and makе each other cry
i spent the last few months staring at my walls
writing bis*xual [?] about christ and my failures

guilt is an imperfect form of knowledge
now, i don’t know if that’s true
but i read it in a [?] book
last night

i am not an autogynophile
i’m a garden variety narcissist
and i need you to know everything about me
all the time

i’m not the one to cry and beg for forgiveness
though
i’ve been known to do such a thing
i just want to tell the truth if there’s a truth to be seen

i humiliate myself enough in public
that a little more couldn’t really hurt
and if a song ain’t about the real life
it’s nothing to me
oh, its just more overformality
oh, i’m just another tweep on fatality
oops, i said [?] wrote the spiteful song in my catalogue
but

things have a habit of slipping in
when you’re trying to talk something else entirely
and yet
you can’t listen to animal collective without crying

[?] towards making some kind of remark like:
can’t stop fe— me*memory—making me—

i*i*i wrote a bunch of really mean stuff here about a german movie we both watched on two separate screens at two different times but i decided not to use it in this song

when someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
when someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
when someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
when someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
when someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
when someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
when someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
when someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark

those numbers hold no significance to me
yours is the only birthday i’ll ever remember
some numbers hold significance to me
those people’s birthdays i’ll never remember
we were sisters once and
bound to each other
a bond that, i thought
couldn’t break

we did some regrettable things
to each other
but i never ever thought
it would break

she says my name
in your sleep
‘cus life would be so embarrassing [?]
‘cus i still say your name in my sleep
isn’t that embarrassing

it’s better to lose friends by distance
then to have them
be so close
if losing friends was an art
well i’d be the curator of a f*cking museum

(when someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark)

thought i was being charming
i thought i was being honest
i thought i was being charming
i thought i was being honest

before i met you all the songs i wrote were like the angry versions of the sh*t on the side of [?] water bottles
art should be about other people and art should be about god
and i don’t see a contradiction there

a lot of novel in my head everyday seems like a [?]
but there ain’t no [?]

i’m just a lover*girl with an overactive mind
and a copy of [?] greatest hits
maybe it’s my dutch flood finally made out of [?] and obsessing over the wilting flowers of my life

i don’t even really wanna be anywhere near you
and i don’t want to be a friend
no
i don’t wanna be anywhere close to you
i don’t think i could handle being your friend

but you profoundly infected me
you pro*you pr— profoundly infected me
and i’m left to deal with that

now lets hear from my friends
lets see what my friends have to say on the subject
yeah lets see what my friends have to say on the subject
lets see what they have to say on the subject
lets see what my friends have to say

(when someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark)

adrian told me that i have a way of
getting tripped up in my words all the time
ezra she told me that i have a way of
saying things i don’t mean all the time
evelyn told me that i have a way of
denying myself healthy ways to live
alexei he told me that i have a way of
not living my what[?] i truly believe
eili she told me that i have a way of
being too public with my pains
jaiden he told me that i have a way of
fixating too much on the remains
**** she told me that i have a way of
being a real f*cking assh0l*
**** told me that i have a way of
making them feel so small

this is an eulogy for the loss of my second sister
and it’s the last one i’ll write, i promise
this is an eulogy for the joy isle in the drugstore
and mom won’t buy you anything

this is an eulogy for the loss of my second sister
it’s the last one i’ll write, i promise
this is an eulogy for the nights spent on the couch
those nights before everything was consummated

this is an eulogy for the loss of my second sister
it’s the last one i’ll write, i promise
this is an eulogy for being in the passenger seat
and waiting your turn to take the aux

this is an eulogy for the loss of my second sister
and it’s the last one i’ll write, i promise
this is an eulogy for being a guitarist in a someone else’s band
and not caring too much if you get paid or not

this is an eulogy for the loss of my second sister
it’s the last one i’ll write, i promise
and this is an eulogy for time spent alone
when your thoughts were left with someone else’s bitter chaste

this is an eulogy for the loss of my second sister
it’s the last one i’ll write, i promise
this is an eulogy for irresponsibility and good intentions
and all songs that are taken in bad faith

this is an eulogy for the loss of my second sister
and it will be the last one i’ll write, i promise
this is an eulogy for the girl who changed my life
in the naive hope that she’ll be in it agai—

- alex walton lyrics

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