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microwave egg song from countdown - alex horne & the horne section lyrics

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alex: so i’m gonna cook a dish for susie
um. you can do this at home. er er
i’ll instruct you on how to do it
it involves an egg. we end up with an egg dish
ready?

jimmy: yes

ok so here we go so this is how to cook an egg dish. good luck

pick up an egg, and pick up a cup
hit it three times so the egg opens up
pour out the contents, dispose of the sh*ll, into a bin
now pick up a fork, that’s right, stir it all about
give it a good old whisk, make use of the cup
the yolk and the albumen, should now look, like ……

now go the the microwave, open the door
put in the cup, and shut the door
type in one minute, and when i say now
you can press start

(here we go)

now!

pick up the knife, b*tter the bread
creamy and thick, a real generous spread
pick up the ketchup, and dollop it onto one slice

(you’re gonna be eating this in a minute.)

pick up the knife, then pick up the bread
then change your mind, put down the bread
check on the microwave, you should see there’s thirty seconds left
we’re halfway, halfway to egg heaven

pick up your cup, ‘cause you now want a drink
you can’t find the cup
where is the cup?
the cup’s in the microwave, and that’s where the egg
is heating up

(i think it’s going pretty well.)

you don’t need a drink, you just need an egg
you check on the clock, ohhhh there’s ten seconds left!
ten nine eight seven six five four three two one

microwave: *beeps*

alex: and then you just, and then you just get it out
delicious, delicious egg dish here
and this really is a treat for you here suzie
so, it’s like an egg ball. put that there
er, anyone can do this
and then er, you just er
gobble it up really, once you’ve cooked it
so there we go, susie

susie: i’ve just become a fruitarian

alex: have you?
*eats sandwich*

- alex horne the horne section lyrics

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