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hardness of water - alex horne & the horne section lyrics

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there’s one thing to notice in this country ok
from district to district in the uk
if you’re showering or bathing or washing your hands
you can’t fail to notice and understand
the soap suds seem different from place to place
it’s sometimes less easy to wash them from your face

is it the soap? (no)
is it the shower gel? (no)
it’s the hardness of water (yes)

[alex, spoken] that’s right the water’s different. isn’t it? we’ve all noticed it, at last someone’s got the gut to sing a very funny song about heavy water. (no!)

i don’t mean heavy water, that’s just a distraction
water enriched by hydrogen atom fraction
that’s heavy water, it’s different and irrelevant aside
sometimes referred to as deuterium oxide

i’m talking about the hardness of water
like a lamb to the slaughter
lock up your daughters
from the hardness of water

- alex horne the horne section lyrics

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