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falling - alan poe lyrics

[intro]
(“you’re halfway through your dissertation. you don’t go to cl-ss, you don’t study, you don’t conference. i don’t know what the h-ll you’re doing. cathy you want my advice, you should get to the infirmary.”)

(“you think h-ll shuts down after a couple of years? you think what you’ve done isn’t, isn’t floating around somewhere in sp-ce? what makes you think you’ve been forgiven for lying to your mother as a child, huh? or of having slept with married men in adultery or paying taxes that turn central america into a mud puddle, huh?”)

i’m falling
i’m falling
i’m falling
i’ve fallen
i’ve fallen
i’ve fallen

[first verse]
everytime i drive i hope i f-cking crash
cuz’ i’m a piece of trash
it ain’t hard to f-cking tell
there ain’t no need ask
why the rain don’t stop
even when you’re in h-ll
bet you didn’t know they stack sh-t this high
i guess it’s time to stop the lies
ain’t a person alive that’ll give a f-ck about my -ss
if i wasn’t found dead in a ditch
i don’t expect to be missed
‘cuz i don’t feel sh-t
i don’t feel like i exist
anyways
most of my days seem to be spent in a blurry haze
getting blazed in a hurry
every gram i could cop to get high
stay high and keep her off my mind

stay high
(i’m rotting inside, but i’m not dying.)
keep her off my mind
(i could go on like this forever)

[second verse]
residing in my third eye for so long i forgot how the blind walk
i ain’t never had a shoulder
so i always fell forward when things got tough
but i’ve picked myself up every time
riding solo dolo
nowhere to rest my burdens
when it got rough
i would always seek the one
that’s always there for me
even if she’s hard to see
she always comes back to me
call that b-tch loyalty

(loyalty)

[third verse]
everything’s just come crashing down again
i’m on the edge of losing out once again
my only therapy are my words and this pen
see i’ve been left alone by everyone who ever claimed to be a friend
broken promises of when they said they would be there
now the only hope i find flows through my veins and it ain’t life
her cousin calls to me every night, only to push me away
when i’m close enough to reach, she makes sure to let me bleed
mirrors in my house won’t let me cheat

(“the mirrors in my house. i had to cover them up. why do you think that is, huh? what, what is it in my face that i don’t want to look at?”)
(“cathy, you’re starting to scare me now. you know that?”)
(“it’s these eyes. it’s the eyes. eventually everyone does the same.”)

[fourth verse]
driven back to her arms
her lips carry sweet sleep
one is all i need to get rid of this emptiness inside of me
i have a hole in my heart as an obstacle that won’t let me breathe
no matter what i try to fill it with, it’ll always bleed to the touch
so i try and get rid of everything i got locked inside
’til there’s nothing left inside of this chest
then i’ll truly be free to rest

(“guilt doesn’t p-ss with time jean, it’s eternal.”)

[fifth verse]
my shadow knows
every time i turn around
i hurt those i love the most
so instead i hurt myself
proof looks like bar-code
and it shows that i don’t care
you can be in front of them, but they’ll never notice your scarred fists, skin, and eyes
you always seem fine, happy
no one noticing the fake smile, or the blade in your sleeve
creeping closer with every drink
a cut for every numbed emotion in my veins
a shot for every thought that ran through my brain
and a m-ffled scream for every time i wrote your name in blood
i am not scared of pain
it loves every moment we’ve shared
i don’t gotta be scared
she’s been with me long enough to know she don’t got to hold my hand when i die

- alan poe lyrics

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