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labias & genitalmen - al duvall lyrics

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i’m clean as a whistle when a stripper bares her breast
sober as a judge at a midget*tossing test
if lies were latin, i would be the pope
and you couldn’t find my heart with a stethoscope

now, as the crow flies, she’s five*foot*one
but take it slow, guys**the hike is half the fun
though every beau tries, she’ll never learn her place
’cause her folks ate their dinner before they said grace

my baby wore a salvation army suit
she lost a heel when she gave me the boot
i take to drinking lacquer from a bowl
when i think of her out praying for some other guy’s soul
l*b**s and genitalmen, these pages from my journal
l*b**s and genitalmen, concern a love eternal
it maybe is accidental when some parts i can’t recall
but it’s better to have loved a short girl than to never have loved at all

she fixed me breakfast beneath a sugar moon
it must be jelly, because i want to spoon
she said “how awful! what happened to the spread?”
and mama laid her marmalade on my day*old bread

i worked the zipper and opened up her clothes
she was thrown in the cot; i was caught in the throes
i’d like to meet her maker who watches from above
i’m sick as a dog and i’m ready for love

the reverend roth calls upon the widow sump
he shakes her tree, then he preaches on the stump
he chews on mothb*lls to purify his breath
she’s the lily of the valley of the shadow of death

l*b**s and genitalmen, these pages from my journal
l*b**s and genitalmen, concern a love eternal
it maybe is accidental when some parts i can’t recall
but it’s better to have loved a short girl than to never have loved at all

i shall perform the aforementioned vice
until h*ll freezes over**then i’ll do it on the ice
i hate to leave off before the last refrain
but my suit is made of paper, and it feels like rain

- al duvall lyrics

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