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l-y - adam kay lyrics

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you’re wearing your squeaky shoes
and right there taking a snooze
is a tiger, so how do you walk on by?

silently, silently, silent… l*y

you’re a secret agent man
who’s after the secret plan
how do you act so they don’t know you’re a spy?

normally, normally, normal… l*y

you’re an oscar nominee
but the winner’s your enemy
how do you clap when they receive their prize?

begrudgingly, begrudgingly, begrudging… l*y

you want to write a letter
whilst knitting your mom a sweater
how do you manage both at the same time?

ambidextrously, ambidextrously, ambidextrous… l*y

at an eating contest you boast
that you can eat the most
how do you down your fiftieth piece of pie?
eagerly, eagerly, eager… l*y

you’re in a wacky race
and you want to win first place
how do you act as you and your dog drive by?

dastardly, dastardly, dastard… l*y

your dad’s been dealing drugs
and you want to tell the fuzz
how do you tip them off without his crime?

anonymously, anonymously, anonymous… l*y

as you walk along the street
a porcupine you meet
how do you shake his hand when he says “hi”?

carefully, carefully, careful… l*y

you’re addicted to crystal meth
and without it you’re a mess
how do you act when you’re out of your supply?

violently, violently, violent… l*y
if you are on the payroll
of the daily mail
how do you type each article you write?

racistly, racistly, racist… l*y

in the public library
you fall and hurt your knee
but the sign says “quiet please”, so how do you cry?

quietly, quietly, quiet… l*y

you’re scared to pilot your plane
so you drink loads of champagne
how do your passengers act before you fly?

nervously, nervously, nervous… l*y

you just finished having s*x
but you look a bit upset
how did it end that makes you want to cry?

prematurely, prematurely, premature*
um, sorry, normally it’s a bit longer than that
don’t know what happened there

- adam kay lyrics

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