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'tween a rock an' a hard place - adam guettel lyrics

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[ed bishop (?)]
floyd’s in trouble, that’s fer sure
but i’s in much worse
‘fore he could shave!
so don’t talk to me ’bout brave

[doyle (?)]
i used to go for caves and stuff
back when i was scrawny enough to get down in there
thought i’d be a billionaire

[bishop]
once when i was underground
i heard an awesome sound
above my head
thought for sure i’s dead

in a flash and like a flood
boulders, rocks and sand and mud
smashed me down

(i do declare!)

uh huh!
i cussed and screamed and hollered and swore
godd-mn, i almost tore my arm off
to do it
but that’s how you get through it
it weren’t no picnic but by d-mn it was done

‘tween a rock an’ a hard place
i’ve been there plenty of’en
‘tween a rock an’ a hard place
an’ i ain’t in a coffin!

if you look death right in the face
the hardest place’ll soften!
that’s where i thrive, i’m still alive
at the reaper i’m a-scoffin’, i’m a-scoffin’
ooh…

[jewell]
well now bishop, i’m impressed!
i didn’t know that you was blessed
with such a fine imagination
but i had a tougher situation:

one day i’m fishin’ in my boat
fall asleep an’ i start to float
down the river

(aww!)
(like a baby in a cradle)

shut up!

when i wake, the water’s white
it takes me all my might
to keep from flippin’
round n’ round she’s whippin’

‘fore i even have time to think
bobbin’ around, in the drink
cascadin’ down, to the brink
of a waterfall
one hundred fifty-five foot tall

i thought— if i’m goin’ straight to h-ll
you know what lord, i might as well
enjoy it some!
’cause devil, here i come!
i said—
hee hee hee
da dee dee dee dee dee!
ooh!

[all]
ah dee dee dee dee dee, dee dee de de-doo

[jewell]
i must’a had a pretty good landin’
’cause here i am, before you standin’
am i not?
i’m tough as snot

[all]
it weren’t no picnic but by d-mn it was done

[doyle, spoken]
god d-mn, i was a soldier. i’ma make you pansies hold your breath.

(my good granny, doyle. now you goin’ tell us that you was a soldier?)

let me tell you somethin’ about death

(sung)
nineteen hundred seventeen:
met the germans, they was mean
on the battlefield
thought my fate was sealed

shot a hole clean through my stomach
weren’t much left to my stomach
when they was done
thought they had the battle won!

couldn’t move an inch, couldn’t get away
gushin’ like a pig on slaughter day
didn’t look like no bouquet of daffodils
—no sir!
the day was comin’ closer
with my last mortar sh-ll
i blew those germans back to h-ll
where they belong!
correct me if i’m wrong—

[all]
it weren’t no picnic but by d-mn it was done
and by d-mn it was fun!

(everybody now!)

‘tween a rock an’ a hard place
i been there plenty often
‘tween a rock an’ a hard place
an’ i ain’t in a coffin!

you look death right in the face
the hardest place’ll soften
that’s where i thrive, i’m still alive
at the reaper i’m a-scoffin’, i’m a-scoffin’!
at the reaper
i’m a-scoffin’!

- adam guettel lyrics

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