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2:24 - adam carpenter lyrics

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i wrote my own commandments that i’ll never follow
a litany of rules that only help me wallow
meticulous requirements i can’t possibly ignore
that fail to guide, only torment and leave me lying on the floor

i hold myself to standards that i’ll never reach
i used to think myself a leader who could guide or maybe teach
but i can’t trust myself, ambition left outdoors
because i promised that this song would last two minutes twenty four

specific outlines, guidelines, call them what you want but they’re far from helpful
consisting of half*lies and psyches i can’t comprehend no matter how i’d like to
it’s not the end of the road but we’re approaching a bend
don’t shoot the messenger, it’s your fault there’s no gates to defend

i’d write titles before songs, collect a catalogue
like “kids on wheels” or “cancelled plans”, “going to cardiff”
“dog so large i can’t see past it”, all hopelessly romantic
i’d place myself on pantheons to feel a little less lost

start a notebook again if it’s already written in
can’t mix or match my purposes, i’m wearing thin with myself
i need help
call up my friends to complain, consider starting again

i’m gonna say what i need to say, no matter how long it takes
i’m gonna say what i need to say, no matter how long it takes
the only boxes i’ll fit into will be the ones that i create
i’m gonna say what i need to say, no matter how long it takes

find gender*neutral terms for king or empress, live in fiction
convince myself this shapeless body’s owt but dereliction
escape the present, think of ways that i could change to get away
from the fear that i may never be happy

up and down we spiral out again
we drank too much, bled out and lost our friends
but at least we get the chance to try again

i’m gonna say what i need to say, no matter how long it takes
i’m gonna say what i need to say, no matter how long it takes
the only boxes i’ll fit into will be the ones that i create
i’m gonna say what i need to say, no matter how long it takes

you can’t deny me or disguise me, this is what i am

- adam carpenter lyrics

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