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state of mind - absolution project lyrics

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a never ending nightmare but i cannot decide
if it’s a byproduct of memories or pride
communicate the symptoms, or should i even try
maybe it’s all just my state of mind
this never ending moment just never seems to die
but this is when i realize
that it’s so typical of the way that i feel

why is it such a mystery that i still feel this way
holding this final piece of me, watch as it fades away
just give me something real that i can hold onto
so i don’t have to feel the way i never want to

i never want to

just a simple gesture meant to signify
the will i’ve fought so hard to keep alive
another complication but i won’t question why
my best attempts cannot control my own demise
why do i strive to make you, as dead as i feel

why is it such a mystery that i still feel this way
holding this final piece of me, watch as it fades away
just give me something real that i can hold onto
so i don’t have to feel the way i never want to

i never meant to hurt you despite all your surprise
but i locked you up with everything
i tried but couldn’t find
you never meant to scar me from what i could surmise
but my superficial wounds are scabbed
with the words that you’ve advised
and in this m-ss confusion you’ve rendered me unkind
and only sacrificial crucifixion can
justify the crime

now life looks better through your eyes

why is it such a mystery that i still feel this way
holding this final piece of me, watch as it fades away
just give me something real that i can hold onto
so i don’t have to feel the way i never want to

i never want to

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