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fake all along - a judgmental swarm of bees lyrics

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i’ve got trouble making friends for that i might say something wrong, there’s a fire man in everyone i meet and an arsonist in me
i try to fight it, but no amount of medication could ever truly hide it
hold onto me like america holds on to 9/11, 2001, and through all this bullsh*t and sh*t*storm i just wanna feel like i matter to you more than your gun
i am not a plagiarist, and i will never see a therapist, because my family does not believe in mental illness
she says “god’s got your back” but you can’t pray away a heart attack” “don’t be so dramatic, not in this house, if you need to break down, go take a walk around the town.”
it’s not that i really wanna die, i’m just tired of being alive
i wanna live until i lose all of my hair, it just takes so godd*mn long to get there
and the fire in my skull is burinng through my spine
the fear of not knowing what comes next is the only thing that’s keeping me alive
i am not a pessimist but its just so f*cking hard when you’ve been breastfed p*ss
and the way i grew up is the reason i have these delusions
i just want someone to hold my hands, i just need some help with all my plans

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