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surviving such one-sided consequences - 156/silence lyrics

so many months invested, so many breaths left wasted
conflicting thoughts leave me alone

too many conversations have led me down a path i thought i knew too well

i thought this time was different, i thought this time was something real
it seems like i was meant to live through disappointment… and despair
as if it’s commonality

i won’t act as if i’m not phased by this
too many times left stranded with only my thoughts

wait for the disappointment, i know it’s coming
this is the part where all else fails
keep your eyes peeled, you can see the struggle

i stand around hopеless and alone, and i pray that maybe this timе will be different… maybe this time there might actually be something worth celebrating. i’ve let my guard down one too many times just to take a knife to the chest, but with you i can see there’s no weapons to be drawn. call it intuition, call it hope, call it as you will but there’s something there that i can see and there’s something there that tells me “you’re safe, don’t worry”. so i let my guard down and let you in, i left my heart exposed only to find out that you didn’t need the knife after all. your words were powerful enough to send my heart into a million pieces and made me feel a pain i never knew existed

a pain i thought i felt once before but only just now realized it’s nothing like what you made me feel right now. so lay me out on the stretcher but this time leave the oxygen unplugged because i’d rather just feel this pain as i drift to sleep

in my hallucination filled fantasy of oxygen lacked impulses i’ll still manage to think back to a time when we were both happy and try to force that smile on my face. the one you loved so much… and i know it will pain you to see it as i walk out that door

this was something real… this was something different… and i won’t forget you… and i won’t forget you

- 156silence lyrics

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